Never Ever Have a Bad Day

So I didn't go to the devotional where this talk was given but I just read through it and I tell you what, it's one of my favorites. Sad, sad story about the dog but totally awesome meaning behind it. Brief synopses goes like this: the poor dog went out in the street and got hit by a car. He ended up with a cracked skull and his eyeball out of his head. A family friend took the dog out and shot his five times in the head and neck and then they buried him. Turns out the dog survived the entire ordeal and then goes home to his family. yeah. that happened. But even though it was a cool story and all, the best part was the rest of the talk. The best part of it being when he talked about Peter and Christ. Peter's name of course means rock but he was called rock because of what he would become not what he already was. It wasn't until after Peter had his "abomination of desolation" that he was really the Rock. Only after those hard times was he able to understand who he was. After I read this I truly understood the meaning behind us being, “willing to submit to all things which the Lord saw fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” And how that relates to “rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.”

As of Late...

So Stetson has left and is is on week two of his internship. I guess it's going well and he likes the people he works with. One's a super shorty with his partner who is also a super shorty and then there's a really nice girl name Holly and a tall 6'6" guy who's name is Aran (pronounced Aaron). He's got a super weird roommate named Jason and I'm thinking it's a little gay... He likes to touch Stetson a lot and he's just plain weird. Completely out there. I have lost motivation to do anything but then feel bad that I don't get a lot of stuff done. It's an endless cycle, spiraling out of control. haha ok maybe not that dramatic but still. Wedding plans are coming along but now it's starting to get down to the nitty gritty and it's insane. hahah too many decisions and I hate making any kinds of decisions at all. My mom is flying out to Salt Lake next Wednesday and we are going to get a wedding dress and get a place for the luncheon and some other details. I still haven't gotten bridesmaids dresses or anything and the window of opportunity is coming to a close. All I know is that I want them to be blue and white and of course modest. :] hahaha sorry for all the laughing but it's all I can do to keep myself from screaming really loud in the library. haha If you hear about someone being banned from the library for screaming and going insane, you would be safe to think it was me. hahaha Have a Great Day to anyone who reads this. :]

It's official

So it turns out that last time I was on here I started dating Stetson and now that I have too much time on my hands, I've decided to update and start out by saying that I'm ENGAGED to Stetson Carroll :] haha. Crazy? yeah I know. It's super fast and crazy but it feels right so I'm not worried. There's a TON to do and I don't even know where to begin. Luckily, my mom is super supportive and totally helps me all the time. I'm going to be doing all the planning without Stetson 'cause he's going on an internship to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on February 2nd. :[ I'm gonna miss his birthday, he'll miss mine and I won't see him til almost the week of the wedding... (which is May 6th by the way) Everyday gets harder to leave him and go to my apartment or have him leave. The day he leaves will be so flippin' hard. :[ O AND I'm still in school trying to get things done with that. I'm taking 14 credits... I haven't taken more that 12 since my freshman year of college. hmm o man. so any ideas or even just words of comfort would be much appreciated. :] haha love you all.

despair

So I'm not really in despair but it feels like it sometimes. I am taking Chemistry and it's been one of the only classes that I haven't been able to understand at all. I study and do my homework for it and try to understand the concepts but it's so hard! In our group studies everything makes sense but in the testing center it just doesn't connect. So it might just have to be a class that gets taken again later in my career as a perpetual student. hahah. I'm serious... In other news, I am kinda dating this guy.(no dtr's or anything) His name is Stetson Carroll. It's really nice but he's so different from any other guy that I've "dated" that it's like I'm 16 again and dating for the first time. He's really nice and totally just chill all the time. He doesn't like to fight with me about anything and his temper is almost non-existent (except when it comes to his professor in his EMT classes). It's just strange almost cause he's so different in every way than any guy. And he just texted me :) haha He's very confident in himself and is who he is all the time and doesn't care what others opinions are of him. He's from Spring Creek, Nevada and thinks I'm a city girl cause I'm from a town near Atlanta! hahahaha. yeah right. My small town is just a little bigger than his. His only downfall is that he hates trees and loves wide open spaces.... How can you not like trees? I'll never understand.

Small and Simple Things

So, it's been a while. I have been working as a lifeguard at a neighborhood pool in a town close to mine and the season is almost over. Today actually is my last day of being there all week long. I'm excited about a little bit of a break but at the same time I'm not so excited to be home with nothing to do until September... I was thinking about getting another job but where would someone hire me for just a month and some change? There are a few offers for being a nanny of a couple kids from the neighborhood I worked and there are a few offers for swim lessons so yeah but that's not really any sort of respectable income. I really am starting to see how hard life would be without an education and no chance of getting a job that is sustaining. There really isn't anything in this world, that is of worth, that you can get without putting forth an effort and giving it your all. Lifeguarding may not seem like a very difficult job but there are many things that are done and purposefully so no one can tell. It's a very all-encompassing job. With all the work that comes with it, there have been some very amazingly peaceful times. There was a few times when there was huge storms that come through and at night the pool lights come on and the water just seems to dance with the sparkles of raindrops. Other nights there would be no one for an hour or so and the water was perfectly still and a calm would come over me. I'd go lay next to the pool and just stare at the stars and everything was beautiful. I think those nights were some of the greatest blessings I've been giving. Such small and simple things create such a wonder. :)

So this summer I went home and I'm not sure how I feel about it... I mean yeah I'm glad that I get to be with my family and all but ehh I don't know. I think I just miss being around so many people that are my age and are going through the same things I am.

ANYWAY My nephew takes up most of my time and I love it. haha He's so funny and so cute. WAAAAY too smart for his own good. He gets into everything and anything. My sister bought him a fish yesterday and I guess he didn't realize that fish require water. This morning Brock comes into my parents room with the fish in his hand totally excited to show Grandma and Grandpa his new pet fish. I think he was sad that we don't have our chickens anymore so he wanted a new pet.SO cute. :]

In the End

So the semester is closing so fast I can't hardly believe it. There are so many things that have happened and I can't even think of most of them. I've gone through trials and things that I am very grateful for. I think I've grown quite a bit over the past semester and I've been able to make some important desicions in my life. I am 21 so I'm eligible to go serve the Lord on a full time mission. I was really afraid for a while about going but now I know who I am and I'm gratful for this knowledge but I think with this knowledge comes the responisiblity of helping others come to this knowledge. I know that I'm not probably the most qualified person to do something like this but I think that I am going to go on my mission. There is nothing more important to the Lord than to have his people learn of his gospel and to come unto him. There are people that I need to talk to and let them know about this gift I have and let them share in the gift of the knowledge of the gospel and the truth. It might take me some time to get into gear with this but it is something that I think I need to do. The time is right and in the end I think this is what the Lord would have me do. :] Thanks for everyone's support and help in my journey to self discovery, you know who you are.